As a foreigner, I am often left confused and bemused by the way things work here. It’s not that I think things should be done differently, just that I am not expecting things to happen in the way they do. Even simple things often turn into a bit of an adventure.

Until recently, many people in the village would get their eyes tested by, and subsequently purchase their glasses from, companies that came to the village offering free eye tests.

I felt these companies were guilty of day light robbery. I never heard of anyone being told they didn’t need glasses and the prices charged were vastly inflated, often for incorrect lenses.

One of these companies had charged my mother in law R$1100. (well over her monthly pension) for glasses that left her as blind with them as without. When she complained to the young man collecting her monthly installment payments, he said it was just a case of her eyes getting used to them and so she persevered. A year on and she still couldn’t see with them.

Obviously the government took a dim view of these companies too and the practise of village visits was recently outlawed.

We heard of an optician with a holiday house in a neighbouring community, from where he now offers his services once a month. An eye test with him costs R$20 and he would send a courtesy car to pick people up and take them home again. That certainly made it cheaper than going to an optician in town but I was still a little dubious.

My mother in law went to see him and was told that her glasses had completely the wrong lenses for her and the frames should have cost no more than R$300. Other people had the same experience. All got new, though considerably cheaper glasses. All were very pleased to be able to see properly at last.

When I first met Neu, he had the most amazing eyesight. He could stretch his eyes out to sea and count the returning boat sails on the horizon. At first I thought he was teasing me, my eyesight is pretty good but I could only see sea and sky. Half an hour later the sails would pop into my vision. Neu’s long battle with kidney failure and high blood preasure has damaged his eyes terribly. Over a year ago, Neu’s doctor refered him for an eye test at the hospital, we are still waiting for the apointment. We decided to risk a visit to this new optician. Let my confusion begin.

At 9am a little car arrived to take Neu, our son, my sister in law and me to the opticians. We drove along the main road to the next community and then off down a dirt track to ….where ever it was we went. The track, which was bordered on either side by fields high with sugar cane, had been badly affected by the recent rains. We bounced and lurched over a series of deep ruts, inched past giant puddles, with more than a few un-nearving spins of wheels on mud, before pulling up in a large courtyard, belonging to a modern ranch style house.

There were already a considerable number of people quietly waiting to see the optician. There were also billions of flies! I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere with such a population. No doubt they were the cause of the general lack of conversation. I didn’t dare open my mouth, for fear of being the old lady that swallowed, not one but a whole bloody army of flies.

There were little dishes of fly killer dotted about on the veranda. Saucers containing coloured sugar crystals, laced with poison. I’m pretty sure this stuff is illegal, if it isn’t then it should be, a terrible accident waiting to happen.  However, the poison was doing it’s job and the floor of the varanda was black with dead flies. A cleaner was kept busy sweeping up the corpses. It seemed she had no sooner done so, than they were replaced by a new wave of the deceased.

We were given a number and told to wait to be called. We had at least twenty people in front of us, so a long wait……along with the flies.

Someone told us the flies were attracted to the house because of the mango tree in the courtyard. It was certainly a huge tree, with hundreds of mangos ready to be picked and an almost equal amount on the floor. On the other side of the tree was a large, fenced pen. To pass the time, we went to investigate. Inside the pen was a collection of birds. A lot of geese, some ducks and guinee fowls, one or two chickens and a pea hen. The geese set up a honking, which alarmed the ducks and a huge cockerel which had a problem with it’s legs and had to hop about, rather than walk.

Finally we were called into see the optician. Neu’s eye test revealed he needed glasses both for reading and for distance, though the damage to his eyes was not considered serious, a relief. Neu was told to go to the next room to choose the frames he wanted. Then speak to the man in another room to finalise the process.

I told the optician that I didn’t think my son needed glasses but I wanted him to have an eye test. The optician gave him a more thorough check up than the one he gave to Neu, pronouncing his eyes to be absolutely fine and normal. I only wanted to check that the reading glasses I have are still right for my eyes, which they were. I asked who I should pay for the eye test, the optician said there was no need. Well that was a result.

In another unexpected turn of events, while we were waiting for Neu, we were offered lunch. A steaming cup of soup. I declined, in part because it was an incredibly hot day but more because I didn’t fancy trying to drink soup, while keeping the hords of flies at bay.

At 2pm the process was completed. Neu and my sister-in-law would receive their new glasses in a few days, they would be delivered to the house and paid for on a monthly basis. Another car driver said he would be taking us home. My son was chuffed as the return journey was in an airconditioned 4×4, the first time he’s ever been in such a car. It made short work of the dirt track and in no time we were whizzing along the main road home. A trip to the optician here is certainly an adventure.